Mother’s Day: How to bond with your mom-in-law

The saas bahu bond is different but deep!

Is your to be mom-in-law in law giving you nightmares? Is all the saas-bahu gossip in office scaring you? From ages a lot has been talked and discussed about the mom-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. The saas-bahu soaps too have portrayed this equation in every manner.

Kareena with Sharmila
Kareena with Sharmila

Mother-in-law can be a monster for some while most people we asked say they are bliss. It is a well known saying that a girl doesn’t only marry a guy but his family too. Getting along with your in-laws especially mom-in-law is the secret of a peaceful married life.

Girls often assume that only they have adjustment issues but they forget that the groom’s family too adjusts. In most cases the main reason of conflict between mom-in-law and daughter-in-law is this innate sense of competition for attention and affection of the son. For years the mother solely takes care of her son and is the main decision-maker in his life. But after marriage his attention gets divided which creates a sense of insecurity. Shares newlywed Anandita Rao “my mom-in-law is no less than a monster-in-law , she abuses me both verbally and emotionally. Every day we have arguments and fights over petty things. She still wants to rule and interfere in my husband’s life. This annoys me”.

Divyanka Tripathi with her mother in law posing for a family picture
Divyanka Tripathi with her mother in law posing for a family picture

With the changing times the mom-in-law are trying harder to change. “After my son’s marriage, I decided to treat my daughter-in-law like my daughter. We must give them space and time to adjust in the family. Girls today are smart enough to handle everything and sometimes we should understand this. Constant instructions add resentment to the relationship, ” says Madhu Gupta, who has three caring, doting daughter-in-laws.

Though there is no fixed formula for maintaining an ideal saas-bahu relationship. We asked few daughter-in-laws for suggestions for a better relationship.

Respect her: Don’t forget that before you came, she was taking care of the whole household and your better half. Try and help her by doing some chores.

Aishwarya and Jaya
Aishwarya and Jaya

Appreciate her: Compliment and appreciate her on different occasions. Ask her to teach you something, like cooking, stitching, etc.

Make her feel special: Make her feel special by giving her surprises and gifts occasionally. A simple thing you know she would enjoy, like an ice-cream chocolate etc get it for her.

Take her advice: Listen to her suggestions and advice. Don’t necessarily follow them but elders always feel the need to have some influence on their child’s life.

Treat your spouse well: Mom-in-laws are very possessive about their betas, and the best way to earn their respect is to respect your hubby. Never shout on him in her presence or fight publically.

Don’t keep grudges: Avoid keeping grudges against her, just maintain a short memory and move on.

This relation is based on love, respect and adjustment. If you will treat your mum-in-law well, chances are you will end up being a daughter and not “daughter-in-law”. And remember toleration is the key to success!!