Keeping your partner first is not selfish, it is love
Often after having your child, your life revolves around the baby. Feeding, sleeping, playing with the new munchkin becomes so important that somewhere most couples forget to function as man and wife. The priorities change, the relationship evolves but somewhere we all miss that intimacy. Often it becomes a passive anger without you even knowing about it. Here is why your partner should come before the child:
For your happiness is it important to behave as a couple. For 1.5 years we were just parents to our little one. We forgot that our universe before this revolved around our love. We were just two people who were trying to figure out parenting. And this filled me with a passive aggressive anger, I would burst out and often for stupid reasons. It was denting our marriage.
Yes, a baby is the most important person but you are two people who love each other immensely and created that little life. Yes love grows with a kid but you both start growing individually, your priority is your baby, his upbringing and managing finances.
It is important to spend baby-free time
Yes the baby is important but the child needs happy parents. Parents who do not end up in arguments due to frustrations, if going on that occasional date helps you, do that. The grandparents who do not mind baby-sitting for a few hours can be awesome and helpful. Go on a date and remember old times, try not to let the baby and his needs be the center of your attention or shopping.
Kiss, hug and keep that intimacy level high
Often due to sleepless nights and co-sleeping with the child, intimacy particularly physical intimacy, suffers. Try to spice up your sex life by that occasional kiss, naught gestures like winking, grabbing the butt help too!
We are in no way saying that a child is unwanted but to function as parents you need to be in love as a couple too.