Breaking an engagement or roka can be an ordeal for both the families. The girl in Indian customs becomes an easy target for mudslinging. But if you feel that spending your life with this man is not going to be easy, it is better to call off the wedding. The reasons can be numerous demanding in laws, non compatibility with fiancé, dowry demands or arguments in the family. If you cannot see your future with your in-laws and fiance it is best to call it off. It doesn’t matter if it was a love or arranged set up. Here is how
Discuss and decide: Do not fall into a jaded opinion just because your best friend or massi doesn’t approve. Your life partner should not be subjected to dissection. If you feel you are facing issues and cannot settle with this man. Talk to your parents or take a counseling session. Relatives and friends may not have your best interests in their hearts. Discuss the same with your fiancée and end the engagement.
Never compromise: Never take conditions and compromises as a part of the package. Your in-laws may expect you to do some house work (which is ok). But they do not have to give you a set of terms and conditions for marrying their son. A marriage works on respect and love not on terms pre-decided by in-laws. Tell your in-laws clearly if you do not agree to the terms and break it off smoothly rather than creating a scene. Dowry demands are a strict no-no.
Do not try becoming friends: Don’t try your usual ‘lets be friend’ break up line. A relationship and an engagement breaking are two very different things. Part ways cleanly and never get it touch again.
Do it privately: Taking your extended family for an argument is a bad idea. Let his parents and your parents take the final call. Too many people mean too many versions of the story that might prove detrimental for your image later.
Avoid deep discussions: Blame games, name calling, who said what and why. These discussions will not get you anywhere. Be clear and explain that you do not see your future together.
