A few things that can hurt pregnant women
The minute you announce your pregnancy, many people around you will be happy but some might act skeptical. I mean people can turn around overnight, your party friends might diss you for a new lot but what hurts women with pregnancy raged-hormones, which dart around like crazy, are insensitive comments and compliments. So here are 10 things you must never utter to your pregnant friend:
1. “Was it planned?”
Does it matter? Whether your friend wanted a baby her whole life or it just happened. But she is sharing this news because she’s happy, excited and wants the baby in her life. Do not under-estimate her decision-making ability after all it is her (and her husband’s decision) that they plan to keep the little one. Such questions are unnecessary and kind of rude.
Say this instead: “Congratulations, that is great news!”
2. “Did you try or visit a gynecologist?”
Getting pregnant isn’t easy for everyone from the struggle with fertility to getting ready emotionally, it can be an exhausting experience. When a woman is pregnant after trying hard for it or suffering from an ailment or at a certain age, be sensitive as the story behind her joy might be emotional for her.
Say this instead: “Will you give me some tips (if you have no kids presently) or just say how excited you are for her.”
3. “You look like you’re ready to deliver!”
Believe me the wait for the bump to appear and then manage your whole body is no game and the last thing a pregnant woman wants is to have a premature baby no matter how huge she looks.
Say this instead: “How are you feeling?”
4. “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?”
I hate this one! This is the lack of finesse, the ultimate uncouth behaviour! I mean science has become advance enough to tell the parents if there are twins on the first ultrasound! Plus pregnancy makes women self-conscious enough, you add insult to the injury by saying this.
Say this instead: “Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?
5. “Can I touch your belly?”
The answer is NO! I personally hate it when people try to touch my belly! Unless I am comfortable this question annoys me, I mean would you let me feel your bust if I asked?
Say this instead: “Wow, what a cute belly!”
6. “Have you picked a name yet?”
The name part can be very stressful, ask a pregnant woman the insane hours she thinks about them. A name is something a couple wants to keep and decide together, suggestions are genuinely not welcome. In fact in India most women wait for the baby and then the religious ceremony to find the alphabet for christening the little one.
Say this instead: “Naming a baby can be stressful.”
7. “Enjoy now because once the baby comes, your life is over.”
Wow, this one really kicks below the belt. If your parents thought about you like this chances are you wouldn’t be in this world! Pregnancy is an emotional time for any woman and she more aware about the changes she will have to face. But saying that she kisses her life goodbye is adding fuel to the fire.
Say this instead: “Becoming a parent is so worth it!”
8. “ Don’t eat/drink that.”
“You shouldn’t be eating/drinking that.” Pregnant women are well aware of their new dietary recommendations and restrictions and trust me that list runs way longer than you can think of. Plus every doctor advises different things which might not necessarily match. So if we eat fish, have wine or a cup of coffee, please mind your own business!
Say this instead: “This looks so yum!”
9. “I was sick my whole 9 months.”
Pregnancy comes with its own set of health issues from killer backaches to puking all day long. But do not terrify a pregnant woman than she already is. Keep the horror stories to yourself. All pregnancies are different, so bragging or complaining to a mother who is sick is downright insensitive.
Say this instead: “How have you been feeling? Any morning sickness? You will feel better soon!”
10. The most common one, “You look fat/ like a whale/ huge”
Yes, because I am not bloody Duchess Kate and because a pregnant woman will GAIN weight no matter what. In fact when a friend did not gain enough weight she was put on steroids to make sure her baby developed properly. So the weight is essential-The mantra for all pregnant woman, “I am pregnant not fat, there’s a difference.”
Say this instead: “You look glowing/smashing/pretty.”
PS, This article was written by a high on pregnancy hormones woman, so bear the straight-forwardness with us!